One of the latest astrology memes floating around the recesses of the internet involves ranking astrology signs by your favorite to least favorite (split by the 2 socially enforced genders). While this meme is anecdotal and mostly for laughs, many men have been wondering why they are at the bottom of so many lists.
Thanks to the patriarchy, men as a group regardless of their signs do not have meaningful systems of accountability they are held to in their interpersonal lives. As a result, the men of each sign exhibit their own special brand of skirting accountability that they become notorious for. While pop astrology memes don't address this directly, they can draw attention to the subtle ways patriarchy shapes cultural outcomes by gender as a whole. Here is a breakdown on the ways that patriarchy permits men to duck accountability in their interpersonal relationships, by sign!
Disclaimer: The descriptions found in this breakdown are general and won’t necessarily apply to men actively doing the work to hold themselves and be held accountable to the communities they care for. It can also be argued that non men of all these signs display these behaviors, but men are least likely to be held accountable, which is the point of this post. Consider this a point of self reflection:
So first, what is patriarchy! This term unpacks our global human reality dating back centuries: that society and its evolution has been designed by and for men. Here is a short explainer on Kimberlé Crenshaw's work on intersectionality which clearly outlines how patriarchy constrains people's experiences in practice. With this being said, here is how the patriarchy enables men to duck accountability in their interpersonal relationships, by sign:
Aries men barrel through any kind of conversation about accountability with the force of their emotions and they do not listen easily. They go to any length to make anyone making them feel bad the bad guy. To stay in their life, you are forced into accepting this narrative.
Taurus men are so stubborn, so they will never ever ever ever ever admit wrongdoing or even consider for a second that their perspective is incomplete/harmful. They always think they know you better than you know yourself but do they know (or care) how their rigid behavior affects the people in their life? Have they ever bothered to ask?
Gemini men will literally act like you’re the crazy one for holding them to a standard they created with their behavior. Oh, but that was so yesterday, the Gemini man is a new man now! What is accountability for past behavior when you're a new man!
Cancer men make their emotional range of possibilities the responsibility of the people who care about them and commit to them. This is often unreciprocated. Have Cancer men ever considered the people in their life exist as more than emotional managers?
Leo men also never admit they are wrong. Leo men do not give anyone long term in their life more than a crumb of vulnerability nor are they seeking it in their partnerships. There are a lot of deeply emotionally unfulfilled but resolutely committed spouses of Leo men out there!
Virgo men, lord do they lie, whew!!!!! Virgo men love mind games. Virgo men cut off anyone who checks this reality redefining behavior without thinking twice because they perceive it as a threat to their safety. Virgo men always wind up in a bad mood if they are alone in their house of cards for too long but will they stop this behavior? No!
Libra men, at least they’re pretty when they are shocked their flirty behavior led you to develop feelings! Beautiful but entirely heartless and can often be very systematically extractive because their looks will keep reeling in more people to validate them.
Scorpio men are an absolute mind fuck 100% of the time but their sex appeal makes people forget. However, their sex appeal is not good enough to make people forget how callous they can be with information they gleaned in vulnerable moments that they orchestrated to make you feel closer to them than they’re willing to be to you.
Sagittarius men are notorious for running away from the accountability systems in their interpersonal lives. Whether people love or hate sag men depends entirely on people's relationship to chaos. Sagittarius men will bring you chaos and then leave you high and dry for the next shiny adventure awaiting them like it’s their birthright.
Capricorn men can either intentionally or unintentionally be some of the most verbally abusive. They are so damn hard on themselves and when they feel bad they will go out of their way to drag you down with them in specific and especially hurtful ways. And then gaslight you about it if you bring it up because they do not want to sit with their feelings, let alone share em.
Aquarius men think that their vision of the world is more important than nurturing any of the relationships in their lives. Will only let people who indulge their vision uncritically get close to them but do not value that closeness in a mutual way—this can often lead to Aquarius men being extractive in their relationships where they are supported in pursuing their vision but they do not reciprocate any sustainable form of care in their relationships.
Pisces men, oh my gawdddd good luck having a straight forward conversation about accountability, responsibility, ownership and feelings without walking away confused on how they feel about you. A Pisces man has to be down bad for him to actually contemplate and open up for real on these topics. Pisces men have to feel so bad that opening up on these topics winds up feeling safer than the whirlpool of their thoughts and emotions. But that means they are only doing so to feel better, and will go right back to their confusing game when they do!
I go out of my way to facilitate using astrology as a tool for self reflection and self growth! Pop astrology hones in on predominantly fluffy content which can wind up hiding how much information we can actually glean about ourselves with astrology! If you are interested in what your natal chart has to say about you personally, click below to book a reading!